Strange Happenings
Only Waygooks would understand...
03/05/2012 - 03/05/2012
I got this from the EPIK group page on FB that one waygook did. thought it was really fun and most of them I can understand bc I've been through it. Some I've heard from my other friends. Living, even visiting Korea, and you can bet that you'll come across some of these happening or seeing it happen. The comics are from RoKetship. Anyways, like the guy wrote, please don't take offence to any of these. <3
"Silly stereotypes, please don't take offence. It's with love. Enjoy and here's to another great year of comprehending the incomprehensible!"
- Pedestrians share the sidewalk with automobiles and motorcycles...
- Restrooms don't have tiolet paper or paper towels...

- Every child you pass on the street will say 'hello' to you...
- Children love arm hair...
- Every city bus will have at least 2 teenage boys sitting in each other's laps and playing with each other's hair...
- People think you should board the train first before allowing people to get off...
- You leave the house almost every day with the hem of your pants soaking wet...
- Cell phones are meant to always be turned on...
- People love to know your blood type...
- Growing a beard ages you by 20 years...
- Kids and non-smokers are invincible to second-hand smoke...
- Trash can fires are not just for the homeless anymore...
- You are at risk of being hit by a car the second you walk out of your apartment...
- There are more oscillating-fan-related deaths than shootings...
- Other foreigners fascinate you...
- People think that it is really nice to meet you once again for the 300th time...
- Most laws are merely suggestions...
- All food is "delicious" with no exceptions...
- You never shut your bathroom door for fear of drowning...
- You only hear Justin Bieber and Lady Gaga's names twice a week now...
- The school bell makes you crave ice cream...
- The apocalypse has not arrived... it's just some guy selling fish...
- You carry your empty coffee cup for a long time after you finished it...
- The smell of kimchi, garlic and soju is an aphrodisiac...
- Every woman under 30 is incredibly good looking...
- Everyone is fascinated by their own face and like to take lots of pictures of themselves...
- You need to start making a schedule of your laundry waiting period...
- Fish and rice belong at any breakfast table...
- Walking backwards in a circle is a great way to exercise...
- It makes sense to remove your face mask if you need to sneeze...
- There is no pornography anywhere but there's at least 5 brothels in every small town...
- There are only 2 languages ever spoken - Korean and English...
- Little kids traveling alone on public transit is nothing to be concerned about...
- Loud construction workers are Korea's answer to the alarm clock...
- Any decent men's tie should sparkle...
- Animals love to advertise their own consumption....
- Everyone, including 7 year olds, has a nicer cell phone than you...
- Even if you are fast asleep on the subway or city bus, you won't miss your stop...
- There are 3 shower settings - boiling hot, luke warm, freezing cold
- At least once a week you crawl across your apartment floor to get something you forgot after putting your shoes on...
- You will buy ANYTHING with English instructions…
- All food comes either in a single serving or a convenient 30-pack…
- No matter where you are going, an old lady's always in your way…
- You’re beginning to think Cass is the taste of Vitality…
- You wince every time you turn on your bathroom faucet…
- The schoolgirl uniform fantasy has been forever ruined for you…
- Someone is always watching you…
- All you watch on TV are Korean game shows and K-Pop music videos…
- You expect to be startled at least once a day by someone sneezing loudly…
- You finally realize that you should not lean backwards against an elevator door…
- You wish the country would import cows…
- You hit the switch language button on your keyboard more often than the space bar…
- All protests contain a song and dance…
- When the department store opens, the staff will kindly bow to you just before they are nearly trampled…
- Sometimes you feel that the whole city is just a giant school…
- Curiously, you are a little excited about the yellow dust season…
- Facebook and Skype is the only thing keeping you sane…
- You actually prefer bowing to saying hello…
- You buy the product with the prettiest girl on the front…
- If you had a wish, you would make every person taste a Western pizza…
- You realize that once you lose something… it is gone forever…
- People only need to walk one block to reach a convenience store or PC room…
- People politely start public trash piles rather than littering everywhere…
- Students love to sharpen pencils…
- You find yourself disappointed in the equipment offered at the free public park gyms...
- You still have no clue how the garbage/recycling system works here...
- You've given up on the rice cooker and now proudly own a microwave...
- Who needs a janitor when you have a school full of kids?
- Costco is your favorite holiday destination…
- A trip to Burger King means 3 Whoppers…
- You’re already losing your motivation for templestay and learning fluent Korean…
- You actually think you’re starting to blend in…
- You actually believe that you are really handsome…
- Everyone is very impressed with your chopstick skills and kimchi-eating ability…
- A single bar of soap can kill the bacteria on the hands of 1000 people…
- You’re getting used to fruit flies buzzing around your head.
- You’ve stopped wondering why all your cardboard disappears the minute you throw it out.
- Half of your furniture IS cardboard.
- You get at least 3 CoolMessenger pop-ups for every slide on your PowerPoint.
- You’re ashamed of your arm hair.
- You’ve lost some respect for the US Army.
- You look over your shoulder for your kids every time you buy booze or cigarettes.
- You love buying food in the supermarket that is scotch-taped to something else.
- You love getting free toothpaste after an impromptu relay race or volleyball match
- The wait staff likes to cook your food and feed it to you.
- You cross your arms in an X every time you say NO or disagree about something.
- You think you’re back in university after hearing loud drunks stumbling home at 4am on a Sunday morning… but then realize its 50 year olds wearing suits.
- You start telling people they should “take a rest.”
- Every class has a “pig” in it
- Kids think your office is a great place for “hide and seek” with their friends.
- 1980s American popular culture is catching on here fast.
- Koreans seem to be able to find anything from “www[dot]daum[dot]net” but you’re not even sure what kind of site it is.
- A broken bone requires 6 weeks of hospital stay.
- “Free samples” means “feed your entire extended family” (even if they’re not there).
- You feel like you’re playing Frogger every time you walk to school or have lunch in the cafeteria.
- Blue eyes can put others into a state of hypnosis.
- Parking a car means turning off the engine.
- You need at least 3 pairs of shoes to go to the gym and must store them in separate lockers.
- You find yourself chopping vegetables on the floor or on top of the fridge because there is no counter space.
- Your fate is often determined through a game of Rock, Paper, Scissors.
- The elderly are scarier than teenagers.
- Tom and Jerry is back, complete with all the 1950s hidden stereotypes.
- You can’t be trusted to teach regular class alone but if it’s after school, they’ll expect you to teach multiple grades, levels, and gender groups alone for hours.
- People just love to watch your groceries go through the checkout.
- Chocolate pies are currency – who’d have guessed that?
- You understand that your chalk will break and your whiteboard marker will give out several times in one class.
- Cleaning your teeth at the dentist’s office sounds like a war zone.
- When kids actually draw penises and reproductive organs on their desks because they’re studying for their science tests.
- Clerks in the stores stand at attention and ready to pounce on you with customer service.
- Dishes and ironing are taking up too much of your spare time.
- You’re getting used to walking on brick after brick after brick.
- You’ve resigned yourself to the fact that the copy machine will need to be reloaded countless times to avoid paper jams.
- You can pronounce over 20 of your students Korean names perfectly but none of them can pronounce yours.
- The gym has equipment for every possible useless exercise you can do and they’re being used regularly.
- Drinking water is a covert affair.
- School sports day has nothing to do with sports.
- Wearing your gym clothes to class every day after running in circles is comfortable and hygienic.
- Pens are only used to write on your hands to identify your girls’ posse.
- You’ve-ah started talking like-ah this-ah
- The perfect sidedish to pizza is a bag of pickles.
- Food allergies are non-existent. You should be able to eat anything and give the kids whatever you want.
- Even when your spine is twisted all to hell, you can push with the best of them. 
- I wear my sunglasses at night. And when I'm welding.
- Only fools move furniture up a stairwell.
- The doctor is reviewing your x-rays in the waiting room.
- The security guard at the bank will help you pay your bills.
- On overnight school field trips, six highly intoxicated chaperones are just as effective as one sober one.
- Kids better be on the bus when we leave because there are no head counts.
- On field trips, the kids are perfectly safe being let loose on their own in a public place while the teachers have a picnic.
- It makes perfect business sense to open your cell phone or jewelry store right next to 20 other stores that sell the exact same thing.
- Your apartment's peephole is useless because it's always covered with a restaurant or grocery store flyer.
- Everything from kimchi to school uniforms to Olleh! stores are considered a part of Korean traditional culture and you should speak carefully about them.
- The staff will guide you when walking and save your life by alerting you of approaching cars that are 50 feet away.
- The push/pull signs on doors are often blatant lies meant to embarrass you.
- The Internet is reliable.
- Pizza and hamburgers are snacks; not meals.
- You can wrap your umbrella when entering a store - this is genius!
- Koreans are in a rush to go everywhere... except when they are standing on escalators or moving walkways.
- It's impossible to flirt through eye contact because everyone is looking at their phones.
- There are more bags of recycling taking up space on public transportation than baby strollers.
- Flashing red and blue lights are more effective at controlling speeding than actual police cars.
- The KTX smells like a multicultural apartment building in New York City.
- Koreans have made condescension an art form.
- If foreigners can’t understand Korean, then they are obviously clueless to body language and gestures as well.
- Sometimes the only thing more annoying than Koreans are other foreigners.
- You are more likely to run into another foreigner at McDonalds than at the immigration office.
- Many Christians do not distinguish between Santa Claus and Jesus Christ.
- Just mentioning Germany will produce a laugh.
- You receive health advice from 10 year olds.
- Easy-open packages are definitely not easy to open.
- Uniforms make jailbait easier to identify.
- You have not had to change a light bulb since moving in.
- The most uncomfortable experience in the world is standing in line at a water park.
- You are not even sure that you could imitate the hacking sound Koreans make when they spit. It's all in the pronunciation.
- The elderly have more active lives than you do.
- Time zone difference + big game = drinking in the morning.
- You like 2 of the seasons. The start of Spring and Fall are more anticipated than Christmas.
- Your hands are cold all winter. You can’t stop sweating all summer.
- 10 won is of less use than a penny.
- Your work visa and ARC are renewed through the use of magic marker.
- It’s a tradeoff between using the toilet and staying warm.
- There is no better browser than Internet Explorer.
- No matter what page it’s on, the word search will be completed first.
- Mechanical pencils break after each letter but students love them.
- A cutesy pencil case is an elementary girl’s most prized possession.
- A lot of food comes with 3 layers of packaging.
- Fresh air is more important than comfort.
- Mosquitoes and fruit flies are more resilient than cockroaches.
- Nothing says I love you better than a cheap candy breadstick.
- As a kid, you hated getting socks as a gift. That hasn’t changed.
- Your medical exam is like a relay race.
- Even if the cab driver has no idea where you want to go, he will spend 10 minutes pretending that he does.
- Broom handles are needlessly short. Now you know why their spines are so twisted in old age.
- You’ve never seen so many ladybugs and praying mantis in your life.
- Kids go crazy for leading a wire rim across the ground with a stick and throwing arrows in a bucket.
- The most used feature on the phone is the mirror.
- Middle school girls practice their dance routines at the subway station.
- You can conveniently buy thermal underwear on the subway. Its use will also be demonstrated for you.
- Your school evaluation may include parents’ observations of your purchases at the grocery store.
- No one is trying to steal your wallet, kidnap your kids and shoot you in the head.
- Matching outfits show a committed relationship.
- Men in business suits puke in the street. Seems classier than home.
- Your non-smoking hotel room smells suspiciously like smoke.
- Your school’s English section is decorated with spelling mistakes and grammatical errors.
- You can often make purchases by swiping your card, without entering codes or signing anything. You feel very secure about your finances.
- You never know how to dress. It might be school picture day or you might be going on a staff hike up a mountain. You just never know.
- Little children will pee wherever they are.
- People are respectfully quiet on public transportation.
- Korean women can do anything in high heels.
- Koreans have more public places to squat, than places to dump their trash.
- Koreans are terrified of being caught on CCTV.
- Koreans love freebies when they go shopping. Especially when they’re given out by young women in short skirts wearing headsets.
- Everyone plays guitar, violin or piano.
- Koreans actually read newspapers regularly.
- Koreans know that the only professions that exist for them are in medicine/business/computers or law.
- Seoul is less confusing than Daegu.
- Foreigners just don’t know how to replace their ARC cards, open a bank account or find The Fountain on their own.
- The P.E. teacher is better dressed than you on school picture day.
- At least 1 student has gotten your phone number somehow.
- At least 1 student has discovered where you live somehow.
- One of the double doors is always locked. They vary which one each day to confuse you.
- The treadmill is for practicing reading and texting while walking.
- Honeymooners will only go as far as Jeju Island.
- For English teachers, foreigners use the non-existent word “deskwarming” a lot.
- You now own 50 pairs of socks and 40 towels.
- There is nothing more embarrassing than a Waygook flash mob.
- Many Koreans think genitals are digitalized pixels.
- Nobody better mess with your kids!
- The dirt in the space between the sliding doors builds up faster than you can possibly control.
- Who are they to take away your God-given right to be an asshole?
- Harold & Kumar are not as funny as you remembered them.
- If nothing else can cure the boredom, trolling always works.
- The only thing Chinese about a Chinese restaurant is the name…
- You are now always ready for anything to happen…











....and last but not least:
- YOU SEE THESE ROCKS?!
Posted by Jenjilla 03/04/2012 21:14 Archived in South Korea Comments (0)













